arbaros

...that Project Depth is cursed. 
First I found the dream, then what appeared to be a dedicated dream team of programmers, graphic artists and helpers and then the nightmare. 
The programmers turned out to be a bunch of lousy, good for nothing stealing, backstabbing idiots who finally put me in the hospital out of stress. Hospital bills then began piling up resulting in me being unable to further employ the graphic artist, a new team was found and they suddenly decided to ask for more money than the contract and then broke the equipment and then refused to pay for repair costs and finally stole my OS disk. Therapy bills were added in after I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder and then I finally decided to move on and tried to do the game myself. Guess what happened? Game files were repeatedly wiped for some reason, I got repeatedly sick, and finally had a severe case of hypomania. Now the funny thing is hypomania usually results in you becoming more productive except in my case which it came in with depression and resulted in everything going downhill. Now I'm back to therapy, I got sacked from my new job and I'm on pills again. It really blew up in my face when after all my improvements in therapy my psychiatrist suddenly told me that I have badly deteriorated. And now recently when I decided to get back to it again only to have a bad case of back muscle spasm and being bed ridden for a whole week. 

A group of people volunteered to help so I sent them the script of my game so I could finally have someone to brainstorm with, but frankly it's like nobody can love this project like I do. Some just skimmed through it, others just forgot about it. I understand that someone who volunteers is not obligated to follow the project like a contractor but it still leaves me feeling deflated. Maybe everyone else feels that Depth is doomed to fail...

So yeah sometimes I just feel like Project Depth is cursed. Yet I don't want to let it go, because after all it put me through I feel like it's a complete waste if I let it go down the drain. Do you know how much I spent on it? How much energy went into gathering a team, forming a new team, all the brainstorming I had to do over it? 

Sorry for the complaints. I just don't know what to do anymore...thanks to my pills my hands now have permanent tremors so drawing is hard for me now. It's like life is trying to rob me of everything I can do. 

Oh man, it feels like the project started forever ago...and the production is slow as hell owing to the fact that the production team has other none related projects on top of our little brain child, the game Depth: The Condemnation which put me in the hospital out of stress I might add. BUT! While my page doesn't really get visitors I thought I might as well share some of the very basic screenshots from the game for those who might be interested.

You know it's when you hear or see something from your childhood that you remember just how far you've come and how long it has been. And when I look at my previous journal entry it feels as though I posted it just yesterday yet here we are...five months later. It's no longer new year, it's the middle of 2014. Don't you wish you could sometimes stop time or even better go back and redo some of the things in your past? One has to face reality but fleeting thoughts will always be there as your constant company.

I joined DA in 2006...that's EIGHT freaking years ago...damn...seriously. 

Back then I never would have thought that someday I'll grow out of studying and will have to look for a job and earn my own money. I am however grateful for landing a fun job at least. My bosses are from Korea and I am a game tester. Life's been kind to me, and I hope it stays that way. 

With Willow Hill Asylum Finale still unfinished I found myself browsing through the stories of the contestants...and boy, that OCT was interesting...very interesting.

What have you guys been doing? 

PS. I am still open to free requests...HOWEVER my condition also stays the same; since they're free they have no deadline.